"The true painter strives to paint what can only be seen through his world." ~André Malraux

After a year of intermittant "painter's block"  I am working again in my studio, and feeling in a tentative positive state. Painting is a solitary activity, and as artists, we are often working in a vacuum. Unless we have a show hanging, reaction to the work is minimal. With several pieces underway, I decided that perhaps if I write about what I am doing or am attempting to do, it might act somewhat as a muse for me as well as give me some feedback on the work I am creating -- hence the establishment of this blog. 

As for the blog title, traditional, representational painting is a language for expressing what’s visible. But I feel my work is the most successful, and most interesting, when focused on things not entirely visible. I paint what I see but also what I sense and feel by utilizing my interior and unseen world --- in other words, the invisible world. Plein air work or  studio work from photographs are only touchstones or landmarks which guide me to other inner spaces. By so doing, I find that I am pushing the boundaries between representational and abstract work.

You can enlarge the images in this blog by clicking on them.

Feb 13, 2013


Am I a person who needs a deadline to paint? I seem to work better under a deadline, or anyway I work MORE under pressure. Right now, I am in somewhat of a panic, as I will be having a show in the Glass Rubin Hallway at Dartmouth Hitchcock in March. I only have about half of the work, and that will include removing three from the condo, including a very large abstracted forsythia and a large seascape. I think the title is going to be "From Here to There, in Yellow and Blue." It will focus on a series of forsythia paintings (the "yellow" and the "here") most of them new as the old ones have sold, and seascapes (the "there" and the "now".

Below are the new ones which I think are complete and are ready for framing.Photos are taken with my iPhone, so are not the best!

Bouquet as a Springtime Wind   oil on canvas
Bright Reveille   20 x 20  oil  on canvas
Softened with Buttery Air   20 x 20 oil on canvas
Riverbank Golden Glow  12 x 12  oil on canvas

 On to the seascapes, the first of which has been started.  I will probably include a few winter pieces I have that that will edge into the spring forsythia, and then the summer sea. Should amount to about 14-20 pieces which should be enough.

These are two things I love to paint. Both make me so happy. Up here in the Northlands, forsythia is the beacon leading us ever so painfully slowly into spring, and the only spring color a lot of us have in April, amidst the patches of snow, and the mud. The critters eat the crocus, and daffodils come later. These cheerful, intense yellows that spring up are as welcome as the sun, and in fact seem to absorb the sun into their tiny blossoms and billowy boughs. Forsythia as a subject on canvas lends itself to a loose, painterly style which I like, and allows me to layer, and work with both color and texture. The first and third ones above are fairly traditional, but beyond that they are edging into abstract impressionism.

 Why have I not been in my studio very often? I have not got a good answer, except that I had not been feeling well for well over a year. Part of it was random, and sometimes debilitating pain, and part of it was extreme exhaustion. I finally got myself to the doctors --- my internist, then rheumatologist and orthopedist.  After many blood tests, many xrays, and many discussions, I finally had some answers.

1. Escalating osteo arthritis in my hands, big toes,  
and knees, which I could have told them! My fingers begin to look like my mother's.  But happily, none in my hips.
2. Chronic, rather severe, Bursitis in my knees and hips, something I did not know. AND they told me the reason I cannot walk more than a few blocks is because of THAT, not because of my long-term stenosis. 
3. Most interesting, they believe I have fibromyalgia, causing the random pain from pressure points on my body which comes and goes, and the exhaustion. And what is that?? 

Fibromyalgia is a common and complex chronic pain disorder. It is a syndrome rather than a disease, a syndrome  being a collection of signs, symptoms, and medical problems that tend to occur together but are not related to a specific, identifiable cause. This medical syndrome is characterized by chronic widespread pain and allodynia, a heightened and painful response to pressure and pain, causing long-term, and frequent flare ups, of body-wide, flu-like pain, and tenderness in the joints, muscles, tendons, and other soft tissues.  Painful areas are called trigger or tender points in specific areas of the body.  Some studies have suggested that people with fibromyalgia may perceive pain differently in their brains than healthy people. Fibromyalgia may involve too much activity in the parts of the central nervous system that process pain (the nociceptive system). Other symptoms are
~High sensitivity to temperature, bright lights, loud sounds and odors, all of which can  bother you much more than they do everyone else; 
~Stiffness upon waking or after staying in one position for too long;
~Dry, burning eyes (especially in morning); 
~Anxiety  and abnormal serotonin metabolism (why I am on happy pills); 
~Numbness or tingling in the face, arms, hands, legs, or feet; 
~Reduced tolerance for exercise and muscle pain after exercise; 
~Muscle knots, leg and foot cramping, weakness and feeling of swelling (without actual swelling) in the hands; 
~Ringing in the ears, dizziness.

 All of the above are part of my life. There are others which are not, including depression, thank goodness!
Anyway, surely much more than you want to know, but it is rather interesting, and who knows, may explain some of your OWN problems, or those of someone you know!

So what do I do about this, since, because I am on Coumadin for life because of my Pulmonary Embolisms, I cannot take pain killers..... Well, they suggest Physical Therapy for the knees, and exercise for everything. I have been going to water aerobics 3x a week and will start the PE soon. I am on a diet, although they did not mention that; am also looking into acupuncture; and have started some therapeutic neuro-centered  massage.

But the real wonder has been GIVING UP GLUTEN. (I am also eating no soy, no diet sodas, even organic, no processed foods, and very little red meat, and for weight loss, nothing white when possible.) I have been gluten free except for two slices of pizza at my son's and some squid tempura at a restaurant  for three weeks, AND, much to my surprise, I am am greatly improved!  I am truly shocked that I can get out of bed in the morning or after a long car ride, without staggering, fearful of falling,  and holding onto things. I can go down stairs with much less pain. I have had NO muscle cramps. And NO debilitating fibro flare ups like I did over the holidays. So I am a very, very happy soul, busily finding non gluten substitutes for bread, pasta, etc. and feeling so much better. 

So much so, that painting is a joy again, and not an exhausting chore!

1 comment:

  1. I love the forsythia paintings, Deborah! They are truly a breath of HOPE after out long winters up here, with their blaze of yellow against the gray skies.

    Glad to hear that the health problems may be reaching some resolution! It is always more reassuring when we know WHAT has been causing us pain.