SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL AND BACK IN

Am I a person who needs a deadline to paint? I seem to work better under a deadline, or anyway I work MORE under pressure. Right now, I am in somewhat of a panic, as I will be having a show in the Glass Rubin Hallway at Dartmouth Hitchcock in March. I only have about half of the work, and that will include removing three from the condo, including a very large abstracted forsythia and a large seascape. I think the title is going to be "From Here to There, in Yellow and Blue." It will focus on a series of forsythia paintings (the "yellow" and the "here") most of them new as the old ones have sold, and seascapes (the "there" and the "now".


Below are the new ones which I think are complete and are ready for framing.Photos are taken with my iPhone, so are not the best!

Bouquet as a Springtime Wind   oil on canvas

Bright Reveille   20 x 20  oil  on canvas

Softened with Buttery Air   20 x 20 oil on canvas

Riverbank Golden Glow  12 x 12  oil on canvas

 On to the seascapes, the first of which has been started.  I will probably include a few winter pieces I have that that will edge into the spring forsythia, and then the summer sea. Should amount to about 14-20 pieces which should be enough.

These are two things I love to paint. Both make me so happy. Up here in the Northlands, forsythia is the beacon leading us ever so painfully slowly into spring, and the only spring color a lot of us have in April, amidst the patches of snow, and the mud. The critters eat the crocus, and daffodils come later. These cheerful, intense yellows that spring up are as welcome as the sun, and in fact seem to absorb the sun into their tiny blossoms and billowy boughs. Forsythia as a subject on canvas lends itself to a loose, painterly style which I like, and allows me to layer, and work with both color and texture. The first and third ones above are fairly traditional, but beyond that they are edging into abstract impressionism.


 Why have I not been in my studio very often? I have not got a good answer, except that I had not been feeling well for well over a year. Part of it was random, and sometimes debilitating pain, and part of it was extreme exhaustion. I finally got myself to the doctors --- my internist, then rheumatologist and orthopedist.  After many blood tests, many xrays, and many discussions, I finally had some answers.

1. Escalating osteo arthritis in my hands, big toes,  
and knees, which I could have told them! My fingers begin to look like my mother's.  But happily, none in my hips.
2. Chronic, rather severe, Bursitis in my knees and hips, something I did not know. AND they told me the reason I cannot walk more than a few blocks is because of THAT, not because of my long-term stenosis. 
3. Most interesting, they believe I have fibromyalgia, causing the random pain from pressure points on my body which comes and goes, and the exhaustion. And what is that?? 

Fibromyalgia is a common and complex chronic pain disorder. It is a syndrome rather than a disease, a syndrome  being a collection of signs, symptoms, and medical problems that tend to occur together but are not related to a specific, identifiable cause. This medical syndrome is characterized by chronic widespread pain and allodynia, a heightened and painful response to pressure and pain, causing long-term, and frequent flare ups, of body-wide, flu-like pain, and tenderness in the joints, muscles, tendons, and other soft tissues.  Painful areas are called trigger or tender points in specific areas of the body.  Some studies have suggested that people with fibromyalgia may perceive pain differently in their brains than healthy people. Fibromyalgia may involve too much activity in the parts of the central nervous system that process pain (the nociceptive system). Other symptoms are
~High sensitivity to temperature, bright lights, loud sounds and odors, all of which can  bother you much more than they do everyone else; 
~Stiffness upon waking or after staying in one position for too long;

~Dry, burning eyes (especially in morning); 

~Anxiety  and abnormal serotonin metabolism (why I am on happy pills); 

~Numbness or tingling in the face, arms, hands, legs, or feet; 

~Reduced tolerance for exercise and muscle pain after exercise; 

~Muscle knots, leg and foot cramping, weakness and feeling of swelling (without actual swelling) in the hands; 

~Ringing in the ears, dizziness.

 All of the above are part of my life. There are others which are not, including depression, thank goodness!

Anyway, surely much more than you want to know, but it is rather interesting, and who knows, may explain some of your OWN problems, or those of someone you know!

So what do I do about this, since, because I am on Coumadin for life because of my Pulmonary Embolisms, I cannot take pain killers..... Well, they suggest Physical Therapy for the knees, and exercise for everything. I have been going to water aerobics 3x a week and will start the PE soon. I am on a diet, although they did not mention that; am also looking into acupuncture; and have started some therapeutic neuro-centered  massage.

But the real wonder has been GIVING UP GLUTEN. (I am also eating no soy, no diet sodas, even organic, no processed foods, and very little red meat, and for weight loss, nothing white when possible.) I have been gluten free except for two slices of pizza at my son's and some squid tempura at a restaurant  for three weeks, AND, much to my surprise, I am am greatly improved!  I am truly shocked that I can get out of bed in the morning or after a long car ride, without staggering, fearful of falling,  and holding onto things. I can go down stairs with much less pain. I have had NO muscle cramps. And NO debilitating fibro flare ups like I did over the holidays. So I am a very, very happy soul, busily finding non gluten substitutes for bread, pasta, etc. and feeling so much better. 

So much so, that painting is a joy again, and not an exhausting chore!

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The New Year

Happy New Year to my three readers of this blog. Maybe four. It doesn't look like January without the deep snow cover we usually have by now, but when I woke up this AM to 5 degree temps, it did FEEL like it.

We celebrated the holidays totally "away" this year, which felt very strange. This is the third Christmas we have traveled down to be with out children after years of them coming to us, but normally they then come up here for Vermont snow party and New Years. This year, it was decided that it was my son's in laws' turn to host New Years in Connecticut, so off we went again. It was all a delight in spite of being elsewhere, and I include a few photos below. 

Because we entertained rather largely this year prior to leaving, we did put the trees up, and filled the house with greenery and candles. Christmas actually came to TWO houses here ... I had to decorate both ours and the Littles' small domain ....

Decorating the tree in the Little house.

Our tree, featuring urn ornament which was originally John's grandmother's.

Mrs. Lily Little making Christmas cookies with daughter Minnie.

 We made real cookies too. My daughter now makes the traditional sugar cookies above, but I still make the molasses cookie cut outs (gingerbread, also above) and we all share.

Christmas Eve at my son's with three of our grandkids was delightful, but for some unknown reason we got very few photos  of their extremely pretty,warm and festive home, or of the glorious Christmas Eve extended family party. My daughter in law outdid herself. Did get this of the granddaughters' singing in their Christmas dresses....

The next morning was the usual and expected happy Christmas chaos of excited children (6, 8 and 11) stocking opening, plentiful gifts and yummy breakfast food. My grandchildren are very, very fortunate children.

They were all asked to give up a gift this year, and instead donate one to a deserving child. And I bought much needed school desks  for children in Africa in each of my four grandkids' names. 

Christmas day we made our way over to our daughter's home, where more gifts were exchanged. Things were calmer there, with just one 5 year old child, but every bit as happy. My  daughter and son in law try to keep things simple over the holidays --- Santa usually brings only one gift to my grandson Nate, plus the stocking, which keeps it very special. One of my favorite photos from the holiday is of Nate opening his magical gift from Santa... wrapped in glowing lights (see above)! (It was a child-friendly camera!)

Mantlepiece

Their home too was beautifully and simply decorated, including  the enormous beautiful tree in the atrium. Greenery and candles were everywhere. One of my favorite things was the Three Kings, who moved a bit every night as they approached the manger, and on the next to last night, rode the electric train under the tree! See below.

Santa stocking I needlepointed for Nate after he was born

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My son on keyboard, grandson on guitar,son in law on banjo, husband on guitar.

On Boxing Day, both families gathered at my daughters's -- a very special time, except my daughter in law was not well. The highlight was the music making, a traditional part of our festivities. This year my oldest grandchild Aidan was allowed to join in the merrymaking on his new guitar, so we had three generations involved. 


New Year's in Sharon, CT at our machatunim's home (spelling??) was a warm, casual, family Eve gathering, and the next day, husband and son cooked our usual southern feast, harking back to John's NC roots. Most of the recipes are his mother's or grandmothers--- black eyed peas, cole slaw, collard greens, corn bread, ribs and fried chicken! Here are the chefs and their creations:

Son and husband in their Nantucket Red aprons surveying their repast.

All I did was make the desserts, dense chocolate cake, and Virginia pecan pie. Nobody starved.

The good news on the gallery front is that I sold two paintings through my gallery in Lyme, NH --  one of which I never even got a good photo of. They went for good prices, but sadly I only get 55% of it. C'est la vie.


Happy New Year to my readers!!!!!

La Dolce Vita in Tuscany

Door to villa

View from my bedroom window of pool and area

To continue our Italian adventure, the next whole week we, with our children, their spouses, and our grandchildren, situated ourselves at a marvelous Tuscan villa in the midst of the Chianti countryside. I have always wanted to stay in a small Tuscan town, and after reading Francis Mayes’ books, this desire became an obsession. We finally did it, and it did not disappoint.

Grandson Nate walking towards back of our villa. Loggia and patios visable. Photo by his Dad, son-in-law Bob Buzas. Below, right, loggia and patios

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Entry Courtyard

It was such a joy spending time there that we almost hated to go off on day trips, but we did--- we selected this villa partially because it was so close to Siena, Florence, Pisa, many of the famed medieval fortified hill towns, and vineyards. We managed to see bits of it all.

 When it comes to travel, we all have our preferences. Some of us like to rough it, others like to stay in the most luxurious places they can afford. Some of us like to plan EVERY DETAIL to the nth degree, others like to wing it and just find adventures around every corner. Some like to be busy from sun up to sun down, others like to stop to smell the flowers along the way.  This trip confirmed something I have been learning about myself in recent years: that as I am growing older, I am less and less enticed by cities, and more and more happy and comfortable being in the countryside.

At this point in my life, when I arrive at the airport terminal, I like to head straight for the rural – wherever I am going, even when abroad. I have been to Paris often, but love Burgundy more and hope to get to Provence. I have loved spending time in London, but far prefer being in the Cotswolds, the moors of Yorkshire, the gardens of Sussex. I find the air sweeter, the people friendlier, the food fresher and local, and the pace of life slower. 

I also like to centrally locate myself in one place, and then move out for day trips. We draw a circle around where we are staying, and visit what there is to see in that circle--- always a lot!  And I am very happy to settle myself into a location, often in a rented cottage or villa, immersing myself in the area daily life,  without rushing to every possible famous tourist attraction before closing time.

Life at the villa was good. Below are my grandkids having a pasta making lesson from the chef hired by their parents to provide a fabulous birthday dinner for us.

 

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The children loved eating the pasta they made by themselves--tagliatelle and ravioli.

The family relaxing at the villa.

I left the suburbs in New Jersey to move to Vermont 13 1/2 years ago, and in Vermont, I live among fields, farms, forests, animals and country lanes, unpretentious and rock solid folks. I like to explore these same things in foreign lands. Whenever possible on vacation from here on in, I want to try to avoid long lines, traffic, tourists, loud noise, exhaust, pollution and stress --  all part of the city scene.

That’s not to say I don’t find myself enjoying what cities have to offer  on occasion. I do want to sample the atmosphere, foods, cultural attractions and tourist attractions which are offered by cities now and again. Obviously I was not going to spend two weeks in Italy and not visit the Ufizzi, see the famous piazzas and squares, stand on the beautiful city bridges and take in the river landscapes -- so I did make the effort to see Siena, Florence – both wonderful -- and ended up in Rome for our last four days as my husband had never been there. (But we opted to stay in the quieter neighborhoods of Trastevere). 

But along with all the wonderful family interaction, the time I spent in our little Tuscan village of Panzano, the day trips we made to a few of the medieval hill towns and to a very peaceful monastery at Badia a Coltibuono, were the highlights of my trip. This is what I shall hold in my heart, and hopefully, transfer to my canvasses. 

Below are some of my favorite shots from the medieval, walled hill town Montefioralle for future use. This was my favorite town of those we visited because it seems relatively undiscovered by tourists (San Gimignano is wonderful, but crowded with people and shops). Montefioralle is full of Kodak moments, a perfect setting for a wedding, has one good restaurant, but that is about all. No tourist spots. And it seems to be a village still lived in by normal people living normal lives. I almost felt intrusive as I wandered around the lovely little streets.

 I cannot wait to paint the light in these streets..

Winter Sketches and Winter Gatherings

Oil painting sketch on 12 x 12 canvas, Nantucket

detail

I am having a grand time in the studio this week--- just lazily playing around with paint, and making some very simple but layered paintings. . Yesterday, I actually found myself saying out loud to no one at all, “This is FUN!!”  Each layer is important to the painting -- I don't want to hide the layers as the painting builds. I want each step that leads up to the finished piece to be visible: a friend tells me that this is one of the tenets of Abstract Expressionism. I do remember from my study of those AE giants from the middle of the last century that they somehow shifted the emphasis from the painting- as-a- final-object-to the struggle – and joy -- of the creation itself. The finished painting thus becomes simply the physical evidence of what is really the important thing---incorporating the visual record of the process of the painting's creation. For them, the finished canvas or board was to show evidence of the actual WORK of the painter -- all of the spontaneous and/ or manipulated and planned brush strokes, scrumbles, dribbles, drips , and glazing and staining --  rubbed and scraped away, and added again. In their case, you end up with a DeKoonig or Pollack, in my case, when successful, I end up with a painting that is certainly less abstract than theirs , but richly organic, with layers that create a sense of texture, depth and patina. This type of painting is instinctive to me, and nothing that I learned, certainly not from the rebellious and somewhat anarchistic Abstract Expressionists! Anyway, this week I was not painting for work to show (or hang on the fridge!) but to learn, and to play. Sometimes you just have to get the fun back. Above is one of the quick studies I did in this mode, a 12” x 12” Nantucket inspired moment. The detail shows the layering of the paint.

I didn't have much time to paint this week though--- had to brave the -15 temperature Monday to go out and do some errands, and buy some food in preparation for our State of the Union gathering here Tuesday night I Jersey Joes--- the kind of sloppy Joe that is unique to New Jersey as far as I know, remembered fondly from a couple of the Jewish Deli’s I knew. I was just craving some! They are three- layered sandwiches on seedless Jewish rye bread, with Turkey, Pastrami, Swiss cheese, cole slaw and home-made Russian Dressing, toothpicked and cut into rather small triangles or squares. The recipe I found was perfect. (My very naughty dog managed to get on the kitchen counter while I was out of the room for a few seconds and he gobbled up four sections of them!) Also made a good Mushroom Barley Soup, and eight of us gathered to eat, drink, and toast our President. (which we felt went swimmingly, As I said on Facebook,”. . .  a very different kind of State of the Union from a very different kind of President—I still have high hopes.”) And Wednesday was our book club discussion of Suite Française, at Liz’s

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/09/books/review/09gray.html and Thursday preparation for visit from Mike and family and that night John and I were wonderfully taken to dinner by good friends to celebrate our 47^th anniversary. It seems unreal to me. But then I look at the wedding photos and wonder, were we ever so young, so filled with future dreams, and possibilities.